I went to the pub for the first time in four months this week. I am not one of those who has been hankering for a return to pub life, visualising what that first sip of lager from a glass will be like, as if that is a completely unattainable aspiration at home.
I am in favour, however, of being able to bring an evening to a close at a moment of your choosing, something that is not possible if you invite people to your house. I find myself wishing for some sort of social convention that allows the ringing of a bell or the blowing of a horn that signals an immediate end to the evening, with no explanation required. The reason could be absolutely anything: youre feeling sleepy, a bit drunk, or one of the guests has said, All lives matter. I quite like the idea of doing it mid-sentence, or even ringing the bell in the first five minutes, just to save everyone a wasted evening.
I was a bit wary about suggesting the pub to friends, as people have fallen into two groups, broadly speaking: the first are chomping at the bit, because civil liberties have been compromised by an illness that hasnt affected anyone they know, and so possibly doesnt exist; and the second cannot believe that pubs have been reopened, and believe that anyone who goes is doing so because they wilfully want to bring down population numbers.
I fall somewhere between the two camps. But I was still nervous about telling people I was planning to go, for fear of being accused of wanting their nan dead. Similarly, I was apprehensive about going to a pub full of hardcore virus deniers holding banners with slogans such as: I have my Corona in a bottle.
I had to prebook, and we were limited to a maximum of six people, but it was a lot easier than I had been led to believe. I had heard stories of one-hour time limits, and having to inform the staff of what drinks you wanted before you arrived, and exactly how long you were going to take to finish them. The truth is, there is a complete lack of consistency around how strict pubs are being, which is probably bad news in terms of Covid-19 management unless we somehow discover that the virus is more chilled in Crawley.
Once we arrived at the pub, we were able to take in exactly how the lockdown has been affecting us all, in a way that a Zoom call cant convey. It had been so long since I had seen the bottom halves of any of my friends. Some of them had rushed to get their hair cut the second hairdressers opened, and others had decided we have been shackled to the restrictions of regular haircuts for far too long and were moving into a new era of being more relaxed about their appearance. I, for one, am fully in favour of these kind of epiphanies, as long as I dont have to hear about them.
We sat outside and ordered at the door, after which the drinks were brought to us. We had to get used to the fact that every time one of us went to order a drink we were treated as if this was the first time it had ever happened; but I think its pretty shitty to complain about the service of a place that is opening in such challenging times.
All in all, a great evening was had by all, with the exception of a brief moment when one of my friends started talking about how making face masks compulsory was oppressive. If Id had a bell, I would have rung it.read more
I am back in the pub. Now I want my own bell to bring evenings to a close | Romesh Ranganathan
